A miracle


  It’s starting to sink in that I am housebound for at least the next 6months. I have good days, and I have bad days. On a good day I go half to most of the day not feeling dizzy, nauseous, or scared. On a bad day, I feel ill and scared while lying on the couch listening to the hum of the air conditioning blasting out of its vents. The weather here in the northeast has been unbearable. Everyday feels like a humid Arizona summer day; having lived there, I can say that with confidence. The cement will scorch your feet, […]

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My first seizure

The night of 6/12/16 I was feeling nauseous and dizzy and had been for months. I was complaining a lot to my boyfriend as I sat down on the couch to watch our Redbox rental. All of the sudden I felt like I was going to pass out, and I had to fight for consciousness. I stood up even though I knew I should be sitting down just in case I passed out. I was telling myself to sit down, but for some reason I couldn’t. I told my boyfriend something along the lines of, “I don’t feel well…” as I had […]

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Well, there you have it. After 15 days in the hospital this summer, I have a diagnosis: Epilepsy. I don’t think I’ve ever done so much research and reading regarding a diagnosis in my life. I knew a girl in high school that had epilepsy, and she had to be removed from class when our fire drills went off due to the flashing lights. I always assumed that’s what it was; you had to just stay clear of flashing lights. After my experiences and reading, I now know different. It’s mind blowing to think that 1 in 29 people will get […]

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The past 2 weeks have been life-changing, to say the least. I’ll start off by saying that my health profile is similar to a 65-year-old woman. I’ve had to keep a list of my previous surgeries, medications, diagnoses, and allergies since I was about 20. While most young adults were paying off credit card debt from buying clothes and other silly things, I was paying off hospital bills month by month. I don’t have a personality for school, but every time I tried to sign up for classes, a new illness appeared, just like clockwork, which prevented me from pursuing it any further. […]

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Battery on empty


It’s been difficult this month to come up with a concept to write about let alone one that is interesting enough to read. I started a new medication, and I feel as if I have been living the same day like an episode of Groundhog’s Day for what seems like weeks now. I’m exhausted all of the time and even if I’m not, I still would rather be asleep. I’ve been desperately trying to make New Jersey my new home, but it seems impossible sometimes. I have no friends here, and I’ve been rejected countless times to jobs I’ve applied to. […]

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  I’ll be 29 in a couple weeks and to some this would be time to freak out and accept the death of my youth. You mean you only have ONE MORE YEAR until you’re the big 3-0?! I’m sorry! Your 20’s are coming to an end, how does that make you feel? Goodbye, youth! To others I’m still a baby in life and have plenty of time to hash out life’s challenges and joys. To me, most importantly, I look at getting older as getting better: better with experiences, compassion, wisdom, empathy, and love. Sure my body is slowly crumbling each […]

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Nutritional Yeast – The vegan’s cheese


Vegan: A person who does not eat or use animal products. The biggest upset I’ve heard from omnivores about the vegan diet is its lack of cheese and bacon. Thankfully, this way of eating has become more common and accepted in society, so there is a plethora of new meat and dairy replacements for everyone to try and enjoy. It used to be very difficult to locate these options, but now, due to our growing community and environmentalists sounding alarms, you can find many at your local grocery store. Nutritional Yeast, however, I have not found at my local grocery store, so I buy […]

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The Demons of Anxiety


I cannot remember a day of my life without anxiety. In kindergarten I was worried about coloring out of the lines or being imaginative because it would eventually lead to getting my shoulders pinched from my wicked teacher. Around first grade, I would escape my real world and exit to dreamland accompanied by my persistent humming. I would never know I was doing it; it was only until the adults around me would have enough Celine Dion- “Where Does My Heart Beat Now?” would I then stop momentarily. In 3rd grade I developed OCD and would wash my hands until they bled in fear I’d […]

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She sits down at the table anxiously awaiting the reveal of the night’s dinner; if it’s anything but chicken, she can kiss her evening goodbye. Her father lifts the lid and through the steam she sees it’s meatloaf. She sighs heavily as she sits back in her chair knowing it’s going to be a long night. Her stomach churns from hunger, fear, and disappointment. She’s already behind socially from the other kids, and dinner was a waste of valuable time getting to know the behaviors of her peers. She was different, and they knew it. She needed this time to try to […]

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Greenhouse, Goodwill, and Priorities.


I’ve started a new round of medication, so I’m feeling better than I have in quite awhile. I decided to venture out while my boyfriend built my greenhouse with the help of Mr. Shiloh and Ms. Maggie. I later learned they were of no help to him as he was of no help to them throwing their tennis ball.     I started my day grabbing some Starbucks. It was still quite early for a Saturday, so I needed some pick-me-up juice. (A.K.A. Sugar) Whenever I stumble into Goodwill, I’m never looking for one specific thing, but I ALWAYS leave […]

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